Not trying this whole night out thing again for a while, maybe im old, maybe ive got boring but nights out just aren’t what they used to be. In the summer of 2010 kids i was at mosh pretty much everyday tuesday and friday, and it was wicked, some of the best nights but last night didnt even touch the top 100. I was as drunk as usual, i had good company and danced and did the whole girls night out thing but i just wanted to get home with my subway and watch the apprentice final.

I feel too old at mosh, at liquid i felt weird for wearing clothes, at fanclub i felt too young and out of place for not going through the menopause or a mid-life crisis. Oh and the hangovers are getting so much worse. about once a month i try and get back the life i had at 17/18 and it cant be done. And instead of being sad, and dressing to fit in with the girls with tiny shorts and orange faces its time to move on and accept it. I no longer enjoy getting wasted, wearing tiny shorts, spending hours to get ready (last night i managed it in 30 minutes, shower the lot) and stumbling in at 3am.

Time to earn money, be responsible, not destroy my liver and my lungs, get my career sorted and enjoy the life i lead now. Having a wonderful boyfriend, drinking wine responsibily with dinner which was always an alien concept, enjoying getting in bed with a coffee and watching TV once a week or so and having money to spend on holidays with hot tubs involved (5 days and counting) and finally, accepting i am 21 in 7 months and its ok to be mature at times.